A Self Help Book For The Idiots Of The World. "The Book" was started many years ago when I was a young, wild Ensign serving on the West Coast. I was single, living the wild life, having fun, drinking and doing all sorts of bad things. I guess I should call this "The Disclaimer" instead of "The Synopsis." I'm a lot older now, mature, and married, with kids and pets. So, as you read this, please remember, I was young, didn't have a clue, immature, at times stupid, mostly drunk, probably insane, under a lot of stress, flirting with voting democrat, converting to Hinduism, etc., etc., etc... If I offend anyone with this book, please forgive me. If you can't forgive me, then "Screw you." You have no sense of humor and deserve to live alone in a house full of cats, watching Jerry Springer re-runs, eating frozen dinners with all of your imaginary friends. I'll bet they don't even like you because you have no sense of humor. If you are not offended, you probably know me and can appreciate my sense of humor. I'll bet you even miss it. You probably sit at home wishing we could have a conversation. If you are not offended and do not know me, well, I hate to say this, but you are probably a sick bastard with some serious, serious issues. Go get some help. You need it.