In Garfield's Guide to Everything, the philosophizing fat cat weighs in on a whole kit and caboodle of subjects, from ecology to astrology, Shakespeare to stupidity.

Sleep -- "The best 18 hours of my day"
Coffee -- "Mother Nature's Jumper Cables"
Dogs -- "They contain 90% of the world's drool supply."
Love -- "...is splitting the last piece of pizza."
Exercise -- "My favorite spectator sport."
Mondays -- "The armpit of days."
Golf -- "That's Scottish for 'AAARGH!'"